Friday, December 6, 2013

...It Goes On

The meaning of life is undefined, infinite, and ever changing.  It could be possible that life is abundant and happy as well as bleak and miserable.  Depending on who one speaks to, life is different and life is, well, life.  The trials and tribulations of life range from minimal to maximum potential for each individual.  Could it be possible that an individual who applies their maximum potential have an abundant life?  Or could it be possible that an individual who lacks their potential have a hard life?  But, what is an abundant life or a hard life?  Luckily, I've had the opportunity to experience both said lives.  The combination of abundant and hard has been an amazing journey.  I often refer to this as the “tornado of life.”

            The “tornado of life” is immense in size, overwhelming, yet it is grounding.  The wind gusts of fear can rip through the foundation of who we were and leave nothing but chilled, bare bones.  The debris of hurt and disgust can surround us with confusion and overtake our minds.  We can feel alone and the life within us can be lost to the force of an ugly, bigger than me, bigger than you, thing.  Somehow, however, we have strength to lift our chins and look around; gray skies, brownish, leafless trees, scattered dirt and stones can take over our path of life.  Just when we think we should give up, surrender to whom or what wanted us to, a structure was in the distance.  It was our homes.

            The meaning of home, to me, is solid and true.  Home is tangible; walls, windows, rooms, floors, and doors.  Home is intangible; faith, love, support, and security.  Maybe home is within us, not somewhere we live or visit.  Isn’t it said that we build walls around ourselves to protect our vulnerability or when we need hope, it’s often said that when one door closes another opens?  Could it be that each floor we wonder be the experiences of our lives, one step at a time?  And love; “You've managed to open the window to my heart.”  Or when the opposite happens; “I have no room for you in my life anymore.”

            We have no control over when and where we were born or who chose to raise us.  Those factors, or people, raised us to the best of their abilities.  Some have had a challenging upbringing and some have had an easy childhood.  But, what we do have control over are all of the intangible items within our home; faith, optimism, hope, and confidence.  We all have free will; freedom of choice.  If we don’t apply our free will and truly engage ourselves with our unlimited potential, then maybe we chose to have a hard life or a dismal home.  Maybe we chose to close our doors and have them remain shut for no one or nothing to allow us into a different spectrum of life.  One would remain stagnant and it’s easy for one to blame others for their cluttered, unfulfilled home.  Is it that we choose to ignore the intangible and only focus on what is seen and heard rather than seeking life within to make any, whether big or small, changes?  We have the free will to rearrange our furniture, a lamp here, a table there.  So why not rearrange our inner foundation, a chance here or a risk there? 

            Throughout my life, I have learned that life is what you make it.  I have rearranged my life in so many ways I could publish my own life-decorating magazine.  I haven’t found the perfect fit to each of my life floors because the doors keep closing and opening into different rooms.  Some of these rooms are scary, filled with dis-ease and loss, but then another door creeks open and I am within a room of mystical happiness and bliss.  On and on it goes, or shall I say, on and on my home grows. 

            I would never change the foundation that was put before me; my parents, my family, my upbringing.  What remains to this day is my faith.  My faith pushed me through all things and all challenges.  It is not that we work out our problems, we work through them.  That is where and when our wisdom grows to help us flourish ourselves into someone new; humble, aware, grateful.

            Life is full of chances because of our God given free will.  I believe in my faith and I am beyond grateful to found such beauty within it.  Although life is undefined and ever changing, life is grand.

Friday, May 10, 2013

Life Is Grand

Situations arise unexpectedly.  Some are good and some are less than good.  The latter, are the most challenging to face, handle, and accept.

Do we have to face, handle, and accept certain situations on our own?  Or can we hand them over to someone or something else to help guide us along?  I've done both.  Or, shall I say, I've tried both.

Handling these unforeseen situations on our own can be difficult.  Maybe for some, it's the easier route, but for me, it's challenging.  The yoke of worry can consume me, cripple me, in fact.

What if we do carry the weight of the world on our shoulders?  I imagine it hunches our backs, buckles our knees, and leaves us with tired, calloused feet.  With the weight of the world on our shoulders, the physical aspects are noticed, but what about our spirit, our mindful state, and our passion?  Having the worldly pressure upon us, without any help or guidance, it leaves us tired and unmotivated.  It leaves us feeling stuck.

To become unstuck of the immense burden of the world, I've learned to ask for help.  But my questions are, am I doing it right?  Am I "saying" all the right things to chip away at this concrete heaviness?

I would assume by chipping away piece by piece, the weight becomes less and our shoulders begin to rise.  We would start to see again.  We would see the things and people that were once blurred by the compressing weight.  We would start to listen again.  To listen to our surroundings without the interruptions of negative static.  We would start to love again.  We would love those who were once overlooked by the crushing mass of pity and despair.

"I prayed so hard for you."  These words were like honey, golden and sweet, said by a woman who once tried to do it all, all on her own.  I failed, and now realize, I needed guidance.  I applied this guidance for someone who deserved an opportunity of self renewed freedom.  In return, an unexpected opportunity occurred, and the weight of the world was no longer upon me.  So, maybe I am "saying" all the right things.

Life is Grand.

Friday, March 22, 2013

A Woman In All Black

The day was a day when the seasons were changing.  Little did she know, she would change right along with the leaves, breeze, and temperature.  She didn't change her foundation of who she was but she changed her perception of how she applied her foundation.

She was tired on this day.  She was in no mood for entertainment, company, or smiling for that matter.  She changed her outward appearance more than she wanted to, but eventually she chose her comfort zone-all black.  Her hair, a frazzled mess, was pulled up, tangled with bobby pins and hair ties.  Looking in the mirror, she gave a smug gesture, as if to say to herself-who cares.

She was late to the party.  It started hours before she eventually arrived.  She was tired and unmotivated.  She gave superficial hugs and half heart-ed embraces to those who were there.  The crowd was kind to her outward appearance, probably because they were heavily filled with liquid fun.  They were indulged in the music, which to her, was too loud.  Her ears didn't want to hear it nor did she want to partake in the dancing.

Outside the weather was chilly.  She made her way outside to escape the annoyances around her.  Once she stepped out into the brisk September night, she felt relieved.  Those who accompanied her outside turned her grouchy attitude into an uplifting spirit.  They knew the day she had but they refused to let her sink deeper.  At one point, she actually felt a faint smile form on her face.  She eventually heard a hardy belly laugh.  The sound was unusual, especially coming from her.

She knew she had to make her way back inside.  But just moments before she started walking towards the door, she was asked if she would like anything.  She laughed inside, because that question was too broad for a mess of a day she was having.  Looking up to answer the easy question, her words were caught in her throat.

Her attitude changed like the leaves on the trees.  Her pessimistic view changed from an icy breeze to an autumn warmth.  The crowd dissipated as if they knew to leave.  It was a stranger meeting a woman, whose appearance looked as if she were attending a funeral, and yet, they started to dance.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Keeping It Simple

Obviously, I've been experiencing a rare form of writers block.  At this point, you may even call it an epidemic.  A high fever of personal criticism accompanied with chills and night sweats of interpersonal doubt.

I brought this rare disease topic to surface with a friend and their advice was quick and to the point--keep it simple.  Now, why didn't I think of that?  The long awaited cure was found, applied and here I am writing.

I know for a fact I was thinking too broadly.  My drafts became volumes of nonsense without any form of life behind them.  They were boring, lackluster and were in no way shape or form ready for my eloquent audience.   With this said, I have become my worst critic.

Although being your own worst critic can be positive at times, most of the time, as a writer, the delete button is your best friend.  The more I reread my words the more I hated them.  The more I tried to sit and write the more frustrated I became.  I was thinking too much of who reads this blog, who doesn't, who I would impress or who I wouldn't impress, and so on.

By keeping it simple, it absolves most of the intimidating thoughts and allows me to accept the beautiful gift of courage.  The courage to take little risks each and every day.  It may seem as if writing this post is not a risk, but it most definitely is.  Taking small risks gives a sense of accomplishment whether the outcome is positive or negative.  If we are trained to remain only in a life of safety where everything is comfortable and easy, I wonder what life we'd miss out on.  This new approach to every day living is exciting and teaches me that I have the strength to make decisions based on a little risk here and there.  Try it out sometime.  Just remember to keep it simple.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

A Subject Worth Choosing

"I never had to choose a subject - my subject rather chose me."
-Ernest Hemingway

I'm sure most of you can relate to this quote.  
It has a past and a future.  It's provokingly mysterious.
The quote is short, twelve words to be exact, that can expand into a thousand (or more) thoughts. 
It's purely genius.

~ ~ ~ ~

Things look different around here, don't they?
Bare to the bone.  
Some writings have disappeared into a world of never-never land.
Never-never land where all is ethically safe and sound. 

This blog started a year ago.
It has had subjects of hopeful love, foundations of family, incoming and outgoing friends, opinionated truths of past, and confessions of fear, loss, and pain.  Others have been of humorous memories, optimistic changes, growing children, and infamous characters.  
These popular subjects "rather chose me."

As some of you are reading this, you'll find yourselves in one (or more) of these subjects.
Simply because I wrote and you related.  Or because you spoke and I related.
Others have tormented my being, and I wrote about why.

 At times, my defense is through writing.
Compare my writing to spewing venom, or however you wish, it will never stop me from 
being mindfully honest.
After all, you chose me.

Those who have been with Mindfully Honest since the beginning, I thank you.  Your encouraging feedback and tremendous support has helped me continue on with writing and keeps me wanting to write more.  

I am happy with Mindfully Honest and its bright future.  
Many people along my life journey have repeatably said to me, 
"You need to write a book!"
  And that my dear friends, is what I'm going to do.
I Promise.

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Peppery Snow

A blinking cursor stares at me.  Taunting me to write.  
Mindfully, I say to myself "I know, I know, I will."
Another week passes.
A blank screen, white as snow sits before me.  
Rhythmically dancing, never skipping a beat, is the black cursor.
I look away, pretending it were not there.
Another week passes.
Dull, meaningless thoughts encompass my mind.
I sit. I wait. I leave the wintery white blank screen.
Another week passes.
This is the ongoing cycle of my writing.  
I don't have time to give excuse upon excuse as to why I haven't written.  Everyday I am inspired by someone or something, but cannot put it into glorifying words.  At times my mind is cluttered with conversations of past and present.  It becomes jumbled into a knotted shoe string mess.  But, today, I feel I can write something good, not great, but good enough to satisfy my writing needs.

Recently, I came across thee most inspiring speech.  As I read along his speech, I listened to his soft, yet deep rooted voice.  Every sentence and every word singed within me.  His message was clear and he wanted one thing for all people:  Equality.
"I Have A Dream," he said.  “I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."  He was and still is right

In 1963, the internet was yet to be born, cell phones and social media were non existent and communication was simply through words and writing.  Now, however, in 2012, we seem to avoid the most common way to communicate.  For face to face communication is of the past.  We blatantly post, tweet, and share unjust, discriminatory, hurtful words to one another.  Which brings me to the burning question: "Are we wanting and willing to go back to segregation?"  To segregate a nation built on trust, the American Dream, equality to all, and free will?

I have read the most upsetting, mind boggling, and ignorant posts pointing to those on welfare and food stamps along with self righteous posts of right and left wing beliefs.  Who are you and why must you preach your word without listening to others?

I am most sure that not one of these pretentious Americans can deliver a speech as Martin Luther King, Jr. did on August 28th, 1963 on the steps of the Washington, D.C., Lincoln Memorial.  I can rightfully assume they do not have the courage, for they hide behind a wall of social media protection.  Is this similar to hiding behind white robes and masks?  Maybe we haven't come so far as a nation of integrated justice and an abundant wealth of free will.

My advice is to stop preaching and start doing.  We all know it only takes a minute or two to post nasty opinions rather than committing effort and time to make their desirable difference.  Start by shutting your mouth filled with a disease of unfairness, and start doing. For the rest of us, while carrying on with our lives, are willing and trying to make the difference.  We don't want to see your unoriginal phrases nor do we want to see your copied and pasted images.  Nothing is of their own, for they don't have a dream.  They only seek to be right by using bigger words than they can comprehend.  

I am doing my part by owning my words, taking time to write, and trying to stop discouragement by opening minds that are wired shut.
I was inspired, beyond friendships and family, beyond everyday occurrences, I was inspired by a genius of words and passion.  He had shown how peaceful power can ignite a nation, even on a personal level, to be better.  He never gave up on hope, freedom, and justice. 

Closed minded fools were challenged by his beliefs and ended his life of searching to find the true meaning of equality.
Thankfully, his legacy remains continuing on the path of justice.

Don't get me wrong, I would most definitely request him as a friend. 

My cycle of writing has come full circle and my white screen is now painted with words.  
I will call this work of art:  Peppery Snow.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

No Thinking. Just Fun.

It's funny how the Universe works in the crazy way it does.  I mean, one day we have everything in order (or so we think) and the next it's all gone to shit.  The latter meaning nothing was ever in order and no one responded the way we ultimately wanted.  For instance, our values, whether they are personal or professional, were ignored and kept to the way side.  Or, our time was spent differently with unexpected circumstances wildly thrown at us. 
I don't know what the Universe is wanting from me but it has me on this fun, kick-ass ride that has yet to stop.  My time is not wasted and my values are still in tact.  However, my mind has let go of some of the strict judgmental values I have placed upon myself.  I sorta have let them go.  Enough was enough and instead I'm not thinking, I'm having fun.  One of my most infamous counterparts, agrees with me and encourages the fact that I am happy and willing to keep being happy.  Chatty talks that end with--Right?  Correct?  These questions give me a tremendous reminder that it is OK to be who I am and where I am at this point in time.  
Throughout my previous posts, I've mentioned quite a few times that I worry too much and always feel the need to be prepared.  Well, to hell with that because that way of thinking and reacting didn't work too well for moi.  
So, here I am, not thinking, just having Fun.